Hamlet Act 4 Scene 2
Another room in the castle.
The Original
Plain Modern English
Enter Hamlet.
Hamlet
Safely stowed.
Hamlet
Safely stashed away.
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern
[Within] Hamlet! Lord Hamlet!
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern
(offstage) Hamlet! Lord Hamlet!
Hamlet
What noise? who calls on Hamlet?
O, here they come.
Hamlet
What's that noise? Who's calling for Hamlet?
Ah — here they come.
Enter Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.
Rosencrantz
What have you done, my lord, with the dead body?
Rosencrantz
What have you done with the dead body, my lord?
Hamlet
Compounded it with dust, whereto 'tis kin.
Hamlet
Mixed it back in with the dust it's related to. Ashes to ashes.
Rosencrantz
Tell us where 'tis, that we may take it thence
And bear it to the chapel.
Rosencrantz
Tell us where it is, so we can take it
to the chapel.
Hamlet
Do not believe it.
Hamlet
Don't count on it.
Rosencrantz
Believe what?
Rosencrantz
Count on what?
Hamlet
That I can keep your counsel and not mine own.
Besides, to be demanded of a sponge! what
replication should be made by the son of a king?
Hamlet
That I'd keep your secrets and not my own.
Besides — being interrogated by a sponge! What
kind of answer is a king's son supposed to give that?
Rosencrantz
Take you me for a sponge, my lord?
Rosencrantz
Do you take me for a sponge, my lord?
Hamlet
Ay, sir, that soaks up the king's countenance, his
rewards, his authorities. But such officers do the
king best service in the end: he keeps them, like
an ape, in the corner of his jaw; first mouthed, to
be last swallowed: when he needs what you have
gleaned, it is but squeezing you, and, sponge, you
shall be dry again.
Hamlet
Yes, sir — one that soaks up the King's approval, his
rewards, his authority. But servants like that serve the
King best in the end. He keeps them the way
an ape keeps an apple in the corner of its cheek: chewed first,
swallowed last. When he needs whatever you've
gathered up, he just squeezes you — and, sponge, you're
dry again.
Rosencrantz
I understand you not, my lord.
Rosencrantz
I don't follow you, my lord.
Hamlet
I am glad of it: a knavish speech sleeps in a foolish ear.
Hamlet
I'm glad. A clever insult goes unnoticed in a stupid ear.
Rosencrantz
My lord, you must tell us where the body is, and go
with us to the king.
Rosencrantz
My lord, you have to tell us where the body is and come
with us to the King.
Hamlet
The body is with the king, but the king is not with
the body. The king is a thing—
Hamlet
The body is with the king, but the king isn't with
the body. The king is a thing—
Guildenstern
A thing, my lord!
Guildenstern
A thing, my lord?
Hamlet
Of nothing: bring me to him. Hide fox, and all after.
Hamlet
A thing of nothing. Take me to him. — Hide, fox, and everyone after him! (A cry from a children's hide-and-seek game. He bolts.)
Exeunt.