Romeo and Juliet Act 2 Scene 1
A lane by the wall of Capulet's orchard.
The Original
Plain Modern English
Enter Romeo.
Romeo
Can I go forward when my heart is here?
Turn back, dull earth, and find thy centre out.
Romeo
How can I walk away when my heart is back there?
Turn back, you lump of clay, and find your centre.
He climbs the wall and leaps down inside. Enter Benvolio and Mercutio.
Benvolio
Romeo! my cousin Romeo!
Benvolio
Romeo! Cousin Romeo!
Mercutio
He is wise;
And, on my lie, hath stol'n him home to bed.
Mercutio
He's being smart —
I'll bet he's snuck off home to bed.
Benvolio
He ran this way, and leap'd this orchard wall:
Call, good Mercutio.
Benvolio
He ran this way and jumped over this orchard wall.
Call him, Mercutio.
Mercutio
Nay, I'll conjure too.
Romeo! humours! madman! passion! lover!
Appear thou in the likeness of a sigh:
Speak but one rhyme, and I am satisfied;
Cry but 'Ay me!' pronounce but 'love' and 'dove;'
Speak to my gossip Venus one fair word,
One nick-name for her purblind son and heir,
Young Adam Cupid, he that shot so trim,
When King Cophetua loved the beggar-maid!
He heareth not, he stirreth not, he moveth not;
The ape is dead, and I must conjure him.
I conjure thee by Rosaline's bright eyes,
By her high forehead and her scarlet lip,
By her fine foot, straight leg and quivering thigh
And the demesnes that there adjacent lie,
That in thy likeness thou appear to us!
Mercutio
No — I'll summon him like a spirit.
Romeo! Moods! Madman! Passion! Lover!
Appear to us in the form of a sigh!
Just speak one rhyme and I'll be satisfied.
Just cry 'Ah me!' Just say 'love' and 'dove.'
Say one nice word to my old friend Venus,
one nickname for her half-blind son and heir,
young Cupid, the crack shot
who made King Cophetua fall for a beggar girl!
He doesn't hear, doesn't stir, doesn't move.
The monkey's playing dead — I'll have to raise him properly.
I summon you by Rosaline's bright eyes,
by her high forehead and her red lips,
by her fine foot, straight leg, trembling thigh,
and the territory that lies next to it —
appear before us in your own shape! (Yes, that's exactly as crude as it sounds.)
Benvolio
And if he hear thee, thou wilt anger him.
Benvolio
If he hears you, you'll make him angry.
Mercutio
This cannot anger him: 'twould anger him
To raise a spirit in his mistress' circle
Of some strange nature, letting it there stand
Till she had laid it and conjured it down;
That were some spite: my invocation
Is fair and honest, and in his mistress' name
I conjure only but to raise up him.
Mercutio
This won't anger him. What would anger him
is if I summoned some other kind of spirit
into his girlfriend's circle and left it standing there
until she had to put it down herself.
THAT would be spiteful. My spell
is fair and honest — in his girlfriend's name,
I'm only trying to raise HIM up.
Benvolio
Come, he hath hid himself among these trees,
To be consorted with the humorous night:
Blind is his love and best befits the dark.
Benvolio
Come on, he's hidden himself among these trees
to keep company with the damp night air.
His love is blind, so darkness suits it best.
Mercutio
If love be blind, love cannot hit the mark.
Now will he sit under a medlar tree,
And wish his mistress were that kind of fruit
As maids call medlars, when they laugh alone.
Romeo, that she were, O, that she were
An open et caetera, thou a poperin pear!
Romeo, good night: I'll to my truckle-bed;
This field-bed is too cold for me to sleep:
Come, shall we go?
Mercutio
If love's blind, it can't hit the target.
Right now he's sitting under a medlar tree,
wishing his girlfriend were the kind of fruit
girls giggle about when they're alone together.
Romeo — I hope she is, oh, I hope she is—
(The joke here is anatomical and Shakespeare's editors have been blushing about it for four centuries. Mercutio cannot help himself.)
Romeo, good night. I'm off to my little bed —
this ground is too cold for sleeping.
Come on, shall we go?
Benvolio
Go, then; for 'tis in vain
To seek him here that means not to be found.
Benvolio
Let's go. There's no point
hunting for someone who doesn't want to be found.
Exeunt.